Sunday, May 21, 2006

I think there are two terrible twoer's in the house.

Tonight while having some devotion time, I was brought about to Psalm 119. It is a Psalm I haven't yet read all the way through, and I can tell you that many verses jumped out at me. Over the past few weeks, God has really been pushing me to want to stop watching certain television programs and listening to certain music. I can tell you that lately my radio station doesn't ever seem to leave the Christian station. And can I tell you, it's so much more fun to listen to upbeat songs about an all loving God rather than songs about heart break and all the other junk that is in today's top 40.
Anyway, I haven't been giving in to God as much as I should be as far as obeying Him in things that have been getting some of my attention. I have been kind of ignoring Him. I have become my two year old daughter. She'll ask me for something and when I say no, she either continues asking over and over again and then finally gives up and moves on to something else, or she deliberately disobeys me. I know how upset it makes me. So of course, I am sure God feels the same way when I do it to Him.

As I read Psalm 119, verse 10 really jumped out at me. "With my whole heart I have sought you; Oh, let me not wander from your commandments."

Have I been seeking God, desiring God with my WHOLE heart? I certainly have not. I touched a little bit on this sort of topic a few posts ago when talking about my week's study in Living Beyond Yourself. But I know without a doubt that I do not give God my whole heart or seek Him with my whole heart. I still give in to things that my flesh yearns for.
Verse 2 of Psalm 119 says that those who seek Him with the whole heart are blessed. I do consider myself to be blessed. But I also know how much more blessed I would be if I really did, seek with all of my heart. I have experienced that blessing before and I must say it is more satisfying than sitting on my couch watching a worldly hour long sitcom or spending five minutes listening to a song that approaches love from a worldly view.
So, if I know how much better it is to be in His word and obeying His word. Why don't I just do it already? Again, I compare myself to my toddler. Sad, huh?

Psalm 119:34-40 "give me understanding, and I shall keep Your law; indeed, I shall observe it with my whole heart. Make me walk in the path of your commandments, For I delight in it. Incline me heart to Your testimonies, And not to covetousness. Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things. (YEP, that one condemned me) And revive me in Your way. Establish Your word to Your servant, who is devoted to fearing You. Turn away my reproach which I dread, For your judgments are good. Behold, I long for your precepts; Revive me in Your righteousness."

Psalm 119:133 "Direct my steps by Your word, And let no iniquity have dominion over me."

Anyway, I can tell you I definitely felt a stirring in my heart while reading these words and I know the things that God wants me to refrain from for now on. And, I am going to grow in years and rid myself of the inner toddler and listen and obey.