Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Confessions of a bad Pray-er

Okay, so I admit it. When someone I care about tells me about a problem they are having or maybe someone is sick. When I know someone is going through a hard time. I do genuinely care and I know God will help. So, I say what all Christians say, "I'll pray for you." When I say it, I really do mean it. I want to pray for them, I do. It also feels nice to have someone say that to you, ya know. In my heart of hearts, I have every intention of praying for the person. I want to see their situation change for the better.

But, something happens and I don't do it. I usually pray once for the person and then I mean to consistently stay on top of the prayer. But to be honest, my prayer life in general is lacking quite a bit. I haven't been doing a good job at all disciplining myself to pray like I should. Sure I pray before I eat. I sometimes pray before going to sleep, but a lot of the time, I fall asleep as I am praying. It's horrible, I know. I hope I am not the only one, I don't want everyone to think I am horrible. But actually, maybe I do hope that I am the only one. Because I would hope that everyone else were closer to God than I currently am at the moment. Maybe some of you used to be that way too.

Anyway, this morning, I was doing my Bible Study and devotion time and I really felt a weight on my heart to pray for a couple of unsaved individuals that I know. I was also feeling quite convicted on my inconsistent prayer life lately. So, I am going to do something about it now. I will rise earlier in the morning and start my day off with prayer. I also want Steve and I to pray together at night and include all of those people that we said we'd pray for. I then wrote out a prayer list. I included the people that were pressed upon my heart during my quiet time this morning as well as several other people whom I told recently that I would pray for. I am going to hang it up in my bedroom. I want to see it a lot and I want to be sure that I do not fall asleep without lifting these people up into prayer.
I know how important prayer is. I know how important it is to spend quiet time with God. I know that He should be more important than anything else I have on my plate. But, it gets so easy sometimes to start the daily routine of giving your little one breakfast, getting them dressed and cleaning the house. Before you know it, it is 7:00 P.M. and you have yet to acknowledge God.

So for those of you out there who heard me say to them, "I'll pray for you." I am sorry that I didn't stick to my word. But you can know now, that I am. I am 100% devoted to praying for you.

Lately I have felt like a flickering light. There are days, weeks even, where I just shine brightly for God. I am in my quiet time every morning and I am communicating with God like I should. And His joy consumes me. Then, suddenly the light starts to dim as I get caught up in all my day to day activities. I get focused on all the things I have to do, on my busy schedule. I don't start my day with God and I don't end my day with God. I think about it, but I don't put it into action. Then, something smacks some sense into me and I blink for a few seconds and then boom...I shine in all my brightness once more. I don't want to be the flickering light. I don't want to have those moments where my light is dimming. I want to always be bright, always be shining, always be lighting up the room.

So, that's what I am going to do. Yep!

1 Samuel 2:1 And Hannah prayed and said:
"My heart rejoices in the LORD;
My horn is exalted in the LORD.
I smile at my enemies,
Because I rejoice in Your salvation.

Colossians 4:2 "Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving."

James 5:16 "......The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much."


Nellie Bellie said...

I am there with you sister...It took a prayer whiteboard for my hubby and I to actually do it...

I'm gone said...

We both had the same issue with prayer. We were intenful but never followed through. The New Testament is full of commands for the believer to be in prayer constantly. It isn't a question of should we, it's a question of do we? I'm glad to hear that the Lord has reached you in this area. Yay for convictions! :)