Changing Voicemail

So, I worked in the Title Industry for seven years or so and I received this in my email today and had to share it.
Of course, it may only be fully enjoyed by those who have worked in the title industry.
So, I'm looking to change my voice mail and thought I'd run it by you guys first.

To lie about when loan docs will be delivered - Press 1
To make excuses for why your borrower can't sign during business hours- Press 2
To complain about what we do - Press 3
To swear at staff members - Press 4
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your prelim and several emails and voicemails - Press 5
If you want us to lower our fees - Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
To request another escrow officer, for the third time - Press 8
To complain about the pre-payment penalty - Press 9
To complain about the other realtor - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and you and your client must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, credit, properly executed document and that it's not the escrow officers' fault for yours/their lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!